29-year-old pays parents' mortgage for four years, faces pushback he asks to put his name on the deed: 'My mom accused me of trying to steal the house'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Aug 4, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

When it comes to the levels of support between parents and adult children, it's more common for moms and dads to be offering assistance to their kids, at least when they are younger and finding their feet. However, it can also happen the other way around as well. There are plenty of adult children who find themselves in a better financial position than their parents, and then feel obligated to help them out. It's a natural instinct.

However, depending on factors such as income level and attitude, it is possible for this kind of arrangement to be taken too far. It's unfortunate, but some families start to treat their kids like a free ATM that doesn't need anything in return. This inevitably leads to tension, and at its worst, can permanently sever relationships. It is rarely a good idea to treat your children like a primary bill payer or retirement plan.

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  • AITAH for asking my parents to put my name on the house if they expect me to keep paying their mortgage?

    Throwaway. My parents bought a house about 10 years ago but ran into some financial issues a few years back. Long story short, they were behind on their mortgage and were close to losing the house. I had just landed a pretty stable job at the time and without really thinking it through I stepped in and started helping with the payments. At first I told myself it would just be for a few months. That turned into a year. And now, it's been almost four years of me sending money every month to keep t
    via No-Report-491
  • Cheezburger Image 10537070848
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.


     

  • A 29-year-old came to this realization after facing pushback from his request that he be named on his parents' mortgage. His reasoning for this was that he had been paying it for nearly four years after they ran into financial difficulty and risked having the property repossessed.

    His parents became angry at this suggestion, accusing him of entitled behavior. He wanted to know if he was unreasonable in his feelings.

  • told them I needed to start cutting back. Rent and bills have gone up and I'm trying to save to eventually buy my own place. That's when they asked if I could just keep helping for a little longer because they still couldn't handle it on their own. I finally said that if I'm going to keep paying for the house, I think my name should be on it. I didn't say I wanted to sell it or kick them out or anything just that I'd feel better having some kind of legal tie to something I've been financially re
    via No-Report-491
  • Cheezburger Image 10537071104
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • They got really upset. My mom accused me of trying to steal the house and my dad said I was acting entitled. I feel bad because I do want to help them but at the same time, I'm 29 and spending hundreds a month on something I don't even benefit from. I just want to protect myself in case something happens. AITAH for asking to be added to the title of the house if they want me to keep paying for it?
    via No-Report-491
  • Cheezburger Image 10537071360
    via Rowan Heuvel

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters advised him on next steps.

    cynical_overlord 1979 NTA It is really unreasonable for you to be paying off someone else's mortgage when you haven't been able to save to get your own place. Four years is too long.
    via cynical_overlord1979
  • Beth21286 OP should ask how else they intend to repay him his money. Do they want to lay out a payment plan? Make it clear those are the two options if they want the payments to continue. Four years of money isn't help it's an investment and investments make returns.
    via Beth21286
  • Chaoticgood790 Either get your name on it or stop paying. le there should be no payments moving forward
    via Chaoticgood790
  • Mental-Style7228 Exactly. It's a tough conversation, but you absolutely need that legal tie if you're going to continue being responsible for such a massive expense. Otherwise, there's no incentive for them to put your name on it.
    via Mental-Style7228
  • pigandpom NTA. 4 years? I, you're patient. After 6 months I'd have been saying things like, sell and move to a house you can afford to pay for. 4 years out of 10, you've paid 40% of what the entire mortgage repayment is, you've contributed more than each of them individually. Time to cut off assistance.
    via pigandpom
  • CharKrat They say YOUR entitled for requesting that? WOW. How about them being entitled by having you pay the mortgage for years! NTA
    via CharKrat
  • Melodic Melodic I thought this too and what happened to the money they're saving each month from not paying a mortgage? 4 years is too long for them to still not have their sh together. I feel like they're taking advantage at this point, so for them to have the audacity to get angry and finger point. Wow. If I were OP, I'd stop giving payments yesterday and let them have the feeling of losing their house again if that's how they're going to treat their own kid that is helping them keep a roof ov
    via Melodic_Melodic
  • Living-Quality7211 Exactly! The entitlement is coming from their side, not yours. It's absolutely insane that they'd call you entitled when you're literally paying for their house. You're NTA
    via Living-Quality7211
  • Klutzy-Contest-1640 NTA if you've paid the mortgage for 4 out of 10 years then the house should be 40% yours. Asking them to add your name to the mortgage is only fair.
    via Klutzy-Contest-1640
  • MsSpicyO Don't add your name to the mortgage, just the deed.
    via MsSpicyO
  • Icky-Tree-Branch How on earth? You ARE entitled to your money and the fruits of your labour. That's literally how it works. That they are demanding your earnings with zero benefit to you or concept of your own wellbeing is the definition of behaving as though they are entitled to something they are not. You need to be building your own future. If they want to include your pay in the funding of their lifestyle, you need to be 1.) on the deed and 2.) welcomed to live there as a tenant and not on a
    via Icky-Tree-Branch
  • GabrielaLaVela NTA Please draft up a ledger showing the dates and amounts you have sent in for the mortgage. Are you paying it directly to the bank? Or are you sending it to your parents for them to put towards the mortgage? At this point, you have given them notice. You can cut them off now. The only people acting entitled here are your parents.
    via GabrielaLaVela
  • emkemkem If you are just sending money I'd check if they actually paid the mortgage with it.
    via emkemkem
  • Garden_gnome1609 It's ultimatum time. Either they add you to the deed, or you stop sending money. Tell them that until you have verification that you're on the deed, you aren't paying for the house. Not another dime till then. It's that simple.
    via Garden_gnome1609
  • Deep-Ad-5571 Stop sending money AND bill them for repayment of your funds used to pay their mortgage.
    via Deep-Ad-5571
  • BestReporter4483 NTA. They are taking advantage of you if that is their reaction. Stop being there for them when they don't seem to be there for you.
    via BestReporter4483
  • Kanazuchi_121 I don't know if this matters but would you be inheriting the house? Even if not, you should be officially on the title since you would stand to make a considerable amount of money from the appreciation considering this housing market. Assuming your parents could move and sell the house to move somewhere they could afford.
    via Kanazuchi_121
  • Legal-Lingonberry577 NTA - tell them to either give you back all of the money you gave them or put your name on the deed. That's their choice. You're all adults; they don't get to take from you and you get nothing back.
    via Legal-Lingonberry577

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family drama family entitled people entitled parents house mortgage dad mom money parents
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